Which Way? The Home
The home is the basic unit of
society, the source from which everything else comes. Homes will
supply the factories, schools, businesses, churches, government
officials, leaders, teachers, doctors, accountants, engineers,
preachers and the rest. The home is the spring of civilization.
Society cannot rise higher than the spring from which it comes. The
home molds the values, priorities, morals, human relationships and
just about everything else in society. It is a true saying, “The
hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world.”
We are aware how lessons that ask, “Which Way?” regarding
the church, nation, and home are somewhat discouraging. We wish it was
not that way. They are depressing to prepare, deliver and read. But do
we think things will be as they ought to be if we just bury our heads
in the sand, as it were, and pretend all is well when all is not well?
The only ones who can be pleased with the direction of the
family and homes in America are those who are either naive, blind,
ignorant, morally degenerate, do not care or who seek the downfall of
good things. This is not to contend that everything in every home is
bad, but the direction generally is bad. While marriages increased
seven or eight percent, divorces have increased sixty-five to seventy
per cent. The number of unmarried couples just living together has
grown between one hundred fifty and two hundred per cent. At the same
time, children living with both parents is down eighteen to
twenty-five per cent. Those living with one parent is up over forty
per cent, and most of the loss of one parent has been because of
Children Neglected in Teaching
to seventy per cent of children under five years of age spend part of
the day in some care facility without spiritual and moral training,
while over half of the mothers in America have left their homes to
earn money outside the home. We even hear of two-year marriage
contracts, suits of “palimony,” (where one fornicator sues another
fornicator after they have been committing fornication for a time,
just living together).
so-called “Women’s Liberation Movement” and such organizations
as the National Organization of Women, along with their push for the
so-called Equal Rights Amendment, has been a major contributing factor
to the disruption of society and the disintegration of the home. With
over half of the black births in America being illegitimate, and the
illegitimate birth rate among whites doubling in the past five years,
it is not an unfair question to ask if a nation can survive while it
makes such vicious attacks on the home and family, its basic
structure. The evidence of disregard for what God says on such things
is heavily turned toward a worse situation.
home is a divine institution like the church. It is designed by God
and began in Eden. It has divinely given purposes, goals,
responsibilities and privileges. Good homes begin with good marriages
of one man, one woman, until death separates them. It involves God,
Christ, the Holy Spirit, the church, the knowledge of duties and
privileges as declared in God’s Word. The prime goal of marriage and
the home is to help one another get to heaven. When God is left out of
these arrangements the home cannot be expected to be as it ought to
be. When God is included and followed the home is one of God’s
greatest blessings to mankind.
As with the church and nation, the law of sowing
and reaping is relevant and because it cannot be repealed it gives us
cause for real concern (Galatians 6:7,8). Downgrading the home and
family is the result of sin and false doctrines designed to protect
sinners. One gigantic factor on the increase is women leaving their
domestic duties and the home and family for other pursuits. There has
been a corresponding increase in adultery, lawlessness, and all manner
of crimes, disregard for God and His church and general decay and
corruption of morality. While this contention is not popular in our
present society, it is still the truth and to shut our eyes to the
truth is to sentence ourselves to a blindness that will destroy us.
For the love of money, fame, pleasure and things, people have
sold their families and homes, and not just their properties. Each
woman who pursues employment outside the home at the neglect of her
home should ask whether she does so from need or from greed.
We hear now and again someone say that the
church is losing her young people. This is not entirely accurate. The
losses of the young to the church are the result of homes losing the
young. The church is unable, except in rare instances, to overcome
what the home is doing to the young. The home is the training ground
(Proverbs 22:6: Ephesians 6:4). We need parents like Abraham, Genesis
18:19, “For I know him that he will command his children and his
household and they shall keep the way of he Lord.” Many parents
are leaving the training of their children mostly to others and the
result is the children receive little spiritual training. Their houses
are not much more than filling stations occupied by strangers. Ability
to communicate has been ruined by a worship at the altar of
television. Priorities are being set by the godless even in the homes
of those who profess Christ. Values are perverted because of what
people are hearing and seeing.
Special mention is necessary on this theme
because alcohol is probably the worst plague in our land. Did you know
that drinking alcoholic beverages is producing more and more
alcoholics and is America’s number one drug problem? Did you also
know that most young people learn that it is proper to drink from what
they hear and see in the home more than any other influence? What
fools parents are who drink! While the homes are beleaguered with
runaway children, child abuse, abortions, incest, suicides and murders
of children, still parents neglect the spiritual and moral training
that is their God-assigned duty to provide their children.
So many children are allowed to reach physical
maturity never having been taught self-discipline but tolerated in
self-indulgence. The most frustrated people on earth are those who
have to meet life but have never learned the difference between right
and wrong, and do not know how to make the decisions they have to
make. Many children learn disrespect for authority by being allowed to
display disrespect for parental authority first. Proverbs 29:15, “The
rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself
bringeth his mother to shame.” Parental pursuit of selfish
ambitions is at the root of many problems that are burying many
youths. Far too many parents do not provide the time, energy,
patience, knowledge and guidance enough to rear their own children.
They are too busy chasing, sometimes money, sometimes other people.
The sin attributed to Eli was that he did not
restrain his children. Just how can a parent do a good job when he is
too busy with lesser things to attend to children?
Divorce is even occurring in the church at
alarming rates. While it is still far less than in society generally
(one of two in society), we find more and more professed
“Christians” who show they really do not respect God’s laws
governing marriage and the home. Even less do they respect His
teaching regarding divorce and remarriage. To accommodate this growing
sin in the church we are being bombarded with doctrines that rather
appease those in sin than causing sinners to repent and correct. So
many in the church have partaken of the sinful ways of the world that
many preachers, teachers and elders have decided that we must “love
them” and teach them something different from what God has said, or
at least try to present some plausible dodge around what he has said
so we can just go ahead and accept the adulterous unions among us.
Our schools have contributed to undermining the
teaching done in godly homes, and even the erosion of the home itself.
False doctrines about marriage, divorce, and remarriage among brethren
have had a big push in recent years from professors in “our”
schools. Even those in schools who know better and do not
believe these errors being taught are not strong and courageous enough
to openly oppose their colleagues. Jobs mean more than truth to so
Just what does one think the teaching of
evolution does to the reliability of the Bible? Yet, evolution is
taught as fact, even in schools supposedly operated by brethren. There
are required texts that compromise with evolution. This is glaringly
apparent in public schools, which in many matters have become one of
the most poisonous enemies of the Lord's church in our day. They teach
values and doctrines that are opposite to what God has revealed. Even
homosexuality is presented as an acceptable lifestyle to small
children. Humanism has become the loudest theme in public education.
Tells the Sad Story
The evidence of the decline of the home is staggering and it is
obvious that the home has been going the wrong direction for several
decades. While this is not pleasant to realize we might as well
realize the truth about it. Sadly, too many do not really care.
Everything about the home is not bad. We should not conclude
that all in America's homes have fallen to the devil. There are godly
homes, governed by godly parents, rearing godly children. But this
discussion has to do with present trend and downward spiral of the
home, and the conclusions are too pronounced. But all homes do not
produce divorce and delinquent children. It is because these homes
respect God and His Word. This is why the task of taking the truth of
God to the world is so pressing with respect to the quality and
spiritual welfare of the occupants and inhabitants of our homes.
Must Be Done?
is one thing to recognize a trend but quite another to do something
constructive about it and, in this case, turn it around to what it
ought to be. There are efforts that should be made. Parents need to
show their young what a godly home is. Often divorce breeds divorce.
But stability breeds stability. Many youths never know a good home,
marry without that knowledge, and when their home breaks down and out
they consider that about normal. They expect failure because that is
what they have experienced in their upbringing.
There should be more preparation for marriage by
more teaching on God’s will for the home and family. It is easier to
prevent than to correct problems. Preparation for marriage is a great
Married people must sever all ties with whatever
puts a strain on the stability of the marriage and home, whether it be
associates, jobs, recreations, locations, etc. We should police the
television. What comes over it most often in the name of entertainment
is nothing but spiritual and moral garbage of hell with every sort of
sin paraded as an acceptable bit of conduct including fornication,
drunkenness, homosexuality, violence, hate, divorce, murder, etc. On
an average day on the “soaps” viewers see and hear nearly seven
instances of something sexually perverse. Great entertainment for
people who want to please God!
Cannot we strengthen the homes and ties of
marriage and the family by family worship, personal prayer, righteous
activities together, attendance at worship, family reunions that
stress godly heritage, learning and practicing the “Golden Rule”?
The greatest gift a parent can give his child are principles and
specifics that show the sanctity and uniqueness of a godly home where
Christ reigns supreme.
Sometimes the question is asked of a parent
whose children are noted for being what they ought to be, “What did
you do that your sons or daughters are as they are?” It is generally
conceded that providing a one, two, three catalogued list is almost
impossible. Good children are formed by living before them good lives.
It is not so much one big thing as it is the daily little things
combined. But we can say with confidence that teaching them a respect
for the Bible is absolutely essential. Whatever advice could ever be
given parents regarding their children is that human wisdom cannot
displace or replace divine wisdom. As Edgar A. Guest once wrote, “It
takes a heap o’ living in a house to make it a home.” Good homes
produce good people and good churches. Good homes exist where each
family member strives to live faithfully before God. Our homes can be
what God approves if we will only listen and apply what He says.
Children: A Terrible Tragedy
We often feel terribly helpless as we hear and
read of the deterioration of homes, seeing children going astray, and
watching the nation dig its own grave by ignoring the family and home.
While none of us as individuals may ever make much impact on the
world, even the nation, maybe even the community where we live, we can
start now to make our homes more in keeping with the divine pattern.
Consider Noah, who saved his children from a
world that was so degenerate God destroyed it. Consider Hannah’s
Samuel’s mother, who gave her child into the service of God. She did
this even as the nation generally was going away from God.
Once a person asked me why anybody would want to
bring children into this dismal and sinful world where things
seemingly are going from bad to worse. I could only respond that we
needed our children so we might train them God’s way, and work and
pray that they will keep the light of truth burning brightly in this
darkened world in their own generation. We can provide for God tools
for His service through our children if we will. May God help us, and
them, in the midst of a present onslaught against His divine will to
do what we must to make the salvation of ourselves, our children, and
our children’s children the eternal reality.
1. What can be expected when children are not
2. How does the law of sowing and reaping apply
to the home?
3. Do you consider the homes in America to be
going the correct direction?
4. Give reasons for your answer to question
5. What are some evidences that many homes are
going the wrong direction?
6. With whom does improvement have to start?